Over the last couple of days, I must admit, I’ve really found it difficult to get my head around things and to feel happy and confident about myself. I know, it sounds silly because on social media I always seem to be the happiest girl who has no problems and only just talks about how to get over hardships on my blog. Well, in truth, no I’m not happy 24/7, as yes there are moments that I really don’t know what I’m doing with my life or what I want to do. I guess this “episode” all started a couple of days ago when I didn’t get the results I wanted for first year, despite getting a 2:1 I’m not happy with it. But why?! You’re probably thinking that a 2:1 I amazing, and in way I’m happy with what I got. But on the other hand, I’m just so frustrated with myself for my marks I received. Why couldn’t I have gotten a first…? What I’ve realised is that there’s so much competition around and society tells you that if you’re not the “perfect” student or person then you’re a failure. Okay, maybe that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but … Why do uni’s push us so hard to the point that people are literally at breaking point?! Statistics tell us that there are more uni students now who now suffer from mental health problems than ever! Isn’t that a scary thought? Why is our generation being pushed so hard compared to previous generation?
Okay, maybe we don’t need to be perfect, no one is explicitly saying we have to be , but why does everyone feel like they need to be? I know that I’m not the only one who feels like this and I’m definitely not the only one who suffers from mental health difficulties. But it’s about time that we address why it is that we feel the way we do. Are our parents pushing us to be perfect or is society?
I feel like there’s so much more competition than there ever use to be, with uni’s telling us we need AAA to get in, everyone is being pushed to their limits to just get anywhere ! Unlike in the past, if you don’t have any qualifications on your CV now it’s almost impossible to get a job, whether that’s wanting to be a banker or a cleaner. It’s the same across the whole spectrum. It’s not fair though is it?! There are people who don’t have any chance compared to those who’ve got degrees and further education qualifications. So of course, they feel the pressure and the competition of trying to do well in the world. But even those who have degrees or are working towards them feel a different kind of competition.
If you’re doing chemistry like me, then you get the opportunity to go on industrial placement and work for a chemistry firm. Even though first year doesn’t count, you want to do well because if you don’t then you might not get a good placement. What if everyone got better grades then you, then how the hell are you meant to get a placement?! That’s the fear that I’ve been having , which is why I’ve been feeling so worried about everything. If I’m not perfect, then how am I meant to do anything in life? How am I meant to compete with the perfect applicant when I myself am not perfect?! Knowing that you have competition does put you down sometimes, it can make you feel like you’re never good enough, at least that’s the problem I have. But if we could just concentrate on using that competition as fuel to work harder and strive for more than we may not need to worry about perfect!
Getting Hung up on The Small Things
Something I’ve learnt about myself is that I always get caught up on the small things, not the thins that are actually important ! What’s the point of worry about the small things that don’t even matter? Okay, somethings might not go to plan and something that you weren’t expecting might happen. But in reality, that’s what life is right?! 😉 Nothing is ever going to be as planned, we might as well just realise that early on so that we don’t worry about the things that don’t actually matter. For example, I didn’t a good mark in one of my exam papers which brought my whole average down, but seriously… does that matter? Why do I feel so hung up over it, I still got a 2:1 which is actually what I wanted to get this year ! So I just need to get over myself and realise that there’s so much more important things to worry about.
I think this kinda goes hand in hand with perfection, when something small isn’t perfect we get annoyed with ourself and it causes us to loose faith in what we do. Maybe as a society we should just learnt to let the small things go and look at the bigger picture, after all… the bigger picture is what really matters ! No ones going to look back at your past and pick up on something insignificant and small that you might have done. Instead, they’ll remember the big important things that you did! Let’s are try to forget the silly little things and always keep the bigger picture at the back of our mind.
Let’s Laugh At Our Misfortunes and Learn from Our Mistakes
This is something I’m going to work so so hard on ! There’s no point of trying to be perfect, no matter how much society makes you feel like you should be. We are who we are, some of use are sporty, she creative, some academic, but we should concentrate on our strengths not our weaknesses! We should try to laugh at the unfortunate things that may happen to us, and of course learn from our mistakes. Sometimes it’s hard to accept failure, but how are we meant to learn without knowing what to improve on? Of course failing isn’t the nicest way of learning , it is the hard way. But it’s the most affective ! If we stop taking failure personally and just use as a tool to understand how to improve , then we won’t feel so down when things don’t go to plan. And if something doesn’t go to plan, well , we should just laugh about it and then move on ! Don’t get hung up over what has happened, move on and concentrate on the next thing. My mum use to say that if you can laugh at your mistakes then you’re doing well in life !
Smile and Move On
So let’s forget about perfect, it doesn’t exist ! It’s time to smile, move on and learn from our past ! Just remember what Kelly Clarkson said, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” 😉 She always knew the secret to life didn’t she ? hahahaha 😉
I’ll see you in my next one, Izzy xxx